As you are all probably getting desperate by now for some great Ray & Ed interaction but there is no new podcast and the live shows are a bit away (But don’t forget the tickets are available for 24 Feb & 24 March at www.kingsplace.co.uk - so please be nice and supportive to keep us going), I thought I would post you the transcript of a text conversation between us from the other day.

We were discussing Ed’s telly appearance and the fact that the BBC had decided to cut the word “cunt” (even bleeped) from Ed’s set.  Ed was getting all angry about it and shouting about television people and that is where the conversation begins here:

RAY: Well it didn’t take you long to turn into Michael Barrymore…

ED: You should see my swimming pool.  It’s really nice and has a diving board.

RAY:  Oh that does sound nice actually.

ED:  Yep and it has a little separate pool at the end for lolling about in if you want

RAY:  Has it got a little outlet bit where I could secretly stand next to it and it will feel quite nice on my privates?

ED:  Yep on the left side if you are looking at it from the shed

RAY:What shed?

ED:  The shed opposite the pool

RAY:  Oh I’m in the wrong fucking garden with my shorts down

ED:  Get out! That is grouchy old Tom’s garden!

RAY:  Ed he has got me now

ED:  Don’t look him in the eyes

RAY:  Right whoever you are, I have got this little piggy captive and I am keeping his phone.  And I am going to kill him unless you send me a sexy picture and one of your bum.

ED:  Please don’t hurt him

RAY:  Ok that is pretty sexy.  Now the bum…

ED:  I can’t grouchy Tom I am at the station

RAY:  I DON’T FUCKING CARE WHERE YOU ARE! DO IT! I HAVE JUST BITTEN ONE OF HIS TOES OFF!

ED:  OH NO. I can’t grouchy Tom I am on a train and there are people about.

RAY:  Well then get one of them to take the picture in the toilet. I have cut his leg off like Saw.

(TWO HOURS LATER…)

ED:  I take it he is dead now Tom? Sorry about all that - had to do a gig.

RAY:  Yep I am dead now but well done on comedy.

FIN